No complaints, and few regrets

I am not complaining, as I found that I can be my own best friend. I waited until my late 30s before I felt the urge to marry and settle down. I know now, and I knew then that I was in love, but there was also this need that I felt to have a child and a family of my own. It was a nesting response to my age, and probably the fact that most of my friends were having children of their own. I could not let this part of life pass me by. I have had few actual loves, or love affairs in my life. I know that feeling is as sweet as anything I have ever experienced, and I know the agony of losing love is the worst. I have only been married once. It was an on and off relationship for years, and when I wanted to bring it all together, and commit, there was no question in my mind. I take commitment to be a serious and personal virtue. There are certain things that define who, or what we are. I am trying to make the ability to be trusted, and and having a sense of honor a constant in my life. I am far from perfect, and do not try to be, but I do have the best of intentions. When my marriage ended, it was a feeling of betrayal of that commitment that hurt, I think even more than the feeling that there was a love lost. The love in my marriage slowly faded while I was consumed with a long term crisis at work. I knew what was coming at work before it happened, and my attempt to prepare my wife was not a success. As I was consumed at work, trying to save the business, my wife was having problems of her own that I was not in tune with. There is not blame, and there is not overt feelings of anger, but I will always resent that the contract was broken. The big picture will indicate that the choice was a wise one. It has been said many times, and I will not dissagree... it is better to live alone, than to live with someone that you do not love. My son is well adjusted, and has two wonderful homes... each with it's own benefits and lessons, but often I think he has been short changed on some opportunities that I alone can not provide.