the feelings were real... and still are

The following was written late in 2002, about feelings created from a vitual love, for a woman that stole my heart... and those feelings are just as real today.

As I write this, it has become autumn, and my son has just turned nine years old, the first cool rains of the season have snuck down from the mountains. The leaves are lighting the forest floor and the sun filtering between the branches shines like a multi-colored prism. Music still drifts thru opened windows before dusk, and darkness seems to slowly hide that special time of summer when we would stay outside laughing until it was almost time for bed. That laughter has not been with me for some time, but something special has happened in my life. I have encountered a special spirit. One person that has been capable of igniting that spark of emotion, which has for so long slept within me. I have felt new life swelling and dancing, in and around me; and the laughter and smiles are spontaneous, and contagious, and addictive. Oh, to have that potion, that magic, that supernatural power... is something that we often seek elsewhere; but it is because we sometimes forget that this power is within us always. Those emotions can not live alone, and that is why we sometimes loose sight of them. But the journey to bring them back is the journey of life itself. How often have we experienced an emotional charge so powerful that we can never forget, so wonderful that it must be shared, and so fleeting, that we spend a lifetime searching to bring it back. Those emotions can be kept alive and vibrant by other souls who reach out across space and time, and breathe life into us, as we can also reach out. Life is not about satisfying the self, but about sharing the self. In this way we become larger and wiser than we could ever be alone. We become more alive in every gift of love and compassion that can be shared with another. We become more whole as we surrender to a power larger than our own...