What you smell is not roses

Love is a Cunt

There are those in life that are truly hopeless romantics. Those that have an unshakeable faith in pure love and its ultimate rewards. If you take those hopeless romantics, and punish them again and again for what they believe in, strapping them up to the rack of love and stretching them until their beliefs snap and their virtues tear - you will eventually find they think... Love is a Cunt.

My intro here is a link that may be worth a look, and I hope that I do not offend anyone on the other end. It sounds like a bunch of mean, deprived, hurt bitches and insecure men without a clue to the richness of emotional fulfillment. Actually there is a lot of truth in their writing (I'm jealous), and I am going to keep an open mind about love, even if it kills me... and it probably will! That being said, there is the more analytical:

The ancient Greeks believed that there are three types of love: Agape (godly love), Eros (human sexual love), and Philos (brotherly fraternal love).

John Lee, has described and labeled different kinds of love: Romantic love -- Best friend or companionate love -- Unselfish love -- Logical love -- Game-playing love.

Robert Sternberg has a theory that there are three components to love: (1) Intimacy = baring souls, sharing, liking, and bonding. (2) Passion = sexual attraction. (3) Commitment = stable, dependable devotion.

And now I have a story of my own... My story is my blog.

My son and I have just returned from a weekend with my parents. My father is 91, suffering from some obvious but undiagnosed form of dementia (plus numerous physical ailments). He is often not sure of the events of the day, and he now spends time and energy obsessing on both real and imagined dangers and pleasures. My mother is a saintly woman, patiently listening, caring for and nurturing the man that she loves. The two of them were celebrating their 55th wedding anniversary in a very muted way. While there is love, there are hard choices facing this couple. My mother is facing the singular responsibility of moving my father into a room where he can receive a complete regiment of care and attention by a staff with the training and energy to care for his afflictions. It breaks my heart to see this happen, but this is what they have expected and planned for all along. The day that we never hoped to see is right around the corner, and there will be anger, pain, guilt, lose... yet above all there will be love. These two people have set an example for me (and hopefully my son), of how it can and should be. There is a commitment to the marriage, relationship and to each other, while having faith in their family, their church, and the future.

The question now turns to my search... and my needs and desires... and if I can be true to myself, and honest with a lover. Am I looking for the relationship that I see in my parents, or is there something else for me ?